You bought the ticket. You picked out the outfit. You drove to the event. You walked through the door.
Congratulations. You've already done what millions of singles never do. You showed up.
As a professional matchmaker, I hear the same thing over and over after singles events. "There wasn't anyone there for me." "I didn't meet anyone interesting." "I was nervous." "I didn't know what to say."
Here's the truth. A singles event isn't a magic show. Prince Charming isn't going to walk across the room, tap you on the shoulder, and ask if you've been waiting for him. Success at a singles event is a skill, and like any skill, it can be learned and improved.
The people who seem to effortlessly make connections aren't necessarily better looking, wealthier, or more outgoing than everyone else. They've simply learned a few habits that make meeting people easier. If you want to have more success at singles events, here are five simple things you can do.
The first is to stop looking for "the one." This might sound strange coming from a matchmaker, but the purpose of attending a singles event shouldn't be to find your soulmate before the evening ends. When people put that kind of pressure on themselves, they become tense, overly selective, and often miss opportunities right in front of them. Instead, challenge yourself to have five meaningful conversations. Focus on meeting interesting people and learning something new about them. You may not meet the love of your life that night, but you might make a new friend, create a valuable connection, or meet someone who eventually introduces you to the right person.
The second key is to smile and make eye contact. You don't have to be the funniest or most charismatic person in the room to attract attention. A genuine smile and warm eye contact immediately make you more approachable. Many singles arrive at events feeling nervous, and unfortunately nervousness often shows up as crossed arms, staring at a phone, or avoiding eye contact altogether. The reality is that most people in the room are experiencing the same anxiety. A smile is one of the simplest invitations you can offer, and it sends a message that says, "I'm open to meeting new people."
Third, stop trying to impress people and start getting curious about them. One of the biggest mistakes singles make is believing they have to be fascinating in order to be interesting. The truth is that people enjoy conversations with those who show genuine interest in them. Ask questions. What brought them to the event? What do they enjoy doing in their free time? How long have they lived in the area? What has been the highlight of their week? Great conversations are rarely built on trying to impress someone. They are built on curiosity, listening, and making the other person feel seen.
The fourth tip is to avoid spending the entire evening talking to one person. Even if you're having a great conversation, singles events are designed for mingling. One of the biggest mistakes attendees make is finding one person they connect with and then spending the next two hours standing in the same spot. It's perfectly acceptable to say, "I've really enjoyed talking with you. I'm going to meet a few more people, but I'd love to reconnect before the evening ends." This allows both of you to maximize the opportunity while keeping the connection alive.
Finally, take the initiative. Most singles are waiting for someone else to make the first move. They are hoping someone will walk over, start the conversation, and take the risk. The people who are most successful at singles events understand that waiting rarely creates opportunities. Introduce yourself. Join a conversation. Ask someone a question. Invite someone to grab a drink or walk over to the food table. Confidence isn't the absence of fear. Confidence is taking action despite being nervous. The worst thing that happens is someone isn't interested. The best thing that happens could completely change the direction of your life.
The good news is that everything I've just described is a skill. Starting conversations, reading body language, making eye contact, creating connection, projecting confidence, and handling rejection gracefully are not talents that people are born with. They are learned behaviors that improve with practice.
That is exactly why we created Art of the Approach – June 27, 2026
At Soulmate Quest, we believe meeting people shouldn't feel awkward or intimidating. Whether you're attending a singles event, standing in line at a coffee shop, networking at a business event, or noticing someone interesting at the grocery store, the ability to confidently start a conversation is one of the most valuable relationship skills you can develop.
Our Art of the Approach workshop is designed to help men build confidence, improve communication skills, understand social cues, and learn how to approach women in a respectful, authentic, and successful way. The skills you learn won't just help you at singles events. They'll help you in every social interaction and every dating opportunity that comes your way.
The next time you walk into a singles event, don't focus on finding the love of your life. Focus on becoming the kind of person who can comfortably walk across a room, introduce yourself, and create a genuine connection.
Because finding love often starts with something much simpler.
A smile.
A hello.
And the courage to take the first step.
Jeannine Wolfe
CEO and Lead Matchmaker
Soulmate Quest, LLC
Helping People Find the Love of Their Life.
