People often tell me, “You’re so lucky in love.”
And on one level, they’re right.
I have been deeply loved—twice—by men who adored me, showed up for me, and cherished who I was. For that, I feel profoundly grateful and blessed by God. I don’t take that lightly. Love is sacred, and I honor the men who loved me well.
But what people don’t see is everything that came before that kind of love.
They don’t see the frogs.
Or the snakes.
And yes… even the pigs.
They don’t see the false starts, the disappointments, the ghosting, the men who almost had potential, and the relationships that fell short of the bar I truly deserved. They don’t see the emotional recalibration that had to happen—many times—before I found love that was healthy, reciprocal, and lasting.
Luck had very little to do with it.
I believe that God had a hand in it—but I had to do the work.
The Work Behind the Love
What people often miss is that I worked for love.
I worked to understand my dating habits, especially the ones that were quietly working against me. I took an honest look at the patterns I was repeating, the compromises I was making, and the moments when I sold out on myself in the name of hope, chemistry, or convenience.
I had to ask myself some uncomfortable questions:
- Why was I attracted to certain men?
- Where was I ignoring red flags?
- What fears were driving my choices?
- And where was I settling instead of standing firm?
That kind of self-reflection isn’t glamorous.
It doesn’t make for great cocktail-party conversation.
But it’s transformative.
Getting Uncomfortable on Purpose
I also had to do something many people resist.
I had to step out of my comfort zone.
That meant putting myself in new environments, saying yes to opportunities that felt awkward or unfamiliar, and being willing to be seen—really seen—without knowing the outcome.
It meant increasing my odds by expanding my world instead of waiting for love to magically stumble into my lap.
Love favors motion.
Not perfection—movement.
Resilience Is the Real Secret
Was I disappointed at times? Absolutely.
There were moments of rejection, confusion, and silence that stung deeply. I’d allow myself a short pity party that lasted a few days. Okay, there were a few week-long pity parties. Don’t judge me.
When I finally decided to shower and get out of my pajamas, I’d talk it through with trusted friends. I’d feel the feelings.
And then…I’d get back up.
I didn’t let one man’s inability to show up define my worth.
I didn’t let ghosting turn into self-blame.
I didn’t let “almost” convince me it was enough.
Resilience isn’t about being unbothered.
It’s about recovering well.
I Didn’t Do It Alone
One of the most important decisions I made was working with a coach, someone who could help me see me more clearly.
We all have blind spots. We can’t see certain things ourselves, but a trusted friend, family member, or coach can. When something is finally revealed, it’s an aha moment. Once you see it, it can never be unseen again. And that’s a good thing. Trust me.
Together, my coach and I uncovered not just what I wanted in a partner, but why I sometimes abandoned my own standards. We explored old narratives, emotional blind spots, and the subtle ways I was betraying myself in dating.
That work changed everything.
And here’s the truth I now know without question:
Self-awareness accelerates love.
Intentional Love Changes Everything
This is why I believe in this work so deeply.
Everything I teach my clients today is something I first practiced myself.
I didn’t get lucky.
I got intentional.
I didn’t wait.
I prepared.
I didn’t settle.
I evolved.
Love wasn’t handed to me. I became the version of myself who could recognize it, receive it, and sustain it.
If you’ve ever thought, “Love just comes easy for her,” please know this:
Meaningful love is rarely an accident.
It’s often the result of courage, reflection, resilience, and support.
And yes—faith.
If you’re willing to do the work, the odds change dramatically. I’ve seen it in my own life, and I see it every day in the lives of the people we guide.
Your Invitation
If you’re tired of hoping love will “just happen” and are ready to approach dating with intention, clarity, and support—this is exactly the work we do at Soulmate Quest.
Whether you’re seeking personalized matchmaking, dating coaching, or access to our exclusive Inner Circle, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
🔗 Learn more or begin your journey here:
www.SoulmateQuestMatch.com
Because lasting love isn’t luck.
It’s built—intentionally.
Come join us on your quest to create your true love story.
